Not in the mood for sex? Sexual counselling can be helpful
Would you like more fulfilment in your intimate life?
Have you not felt like it for a while or do you have pain during sex? Maybe you can’t always have sex when you want to and are experiencing erection problems for the first time? Or is orgasm an issue for you? Sex therapy, individual or couples counselling are a proven tool for dealing professionally with issues, questions and challenges in sexual intimacy.
Book an initial consultation by phone (0171 6446826) or email.
Your investment – online or in my practice in Hamburg-Ottensen – is:
120€ (single session 50 minutes) or
180€ (couple session 80 minutes).
We have a problem! Can you help us?
No desire for – or during – sex is the most common problem my clients have. There are many different reasons for this.
If you have any questions about sexuality, you are in good hands with me. Together we will embark on a ‘journey’ on which I will be happy to accompany you. You will learn to feel yourself and your body better, to understand your soul, to recognise your limits and to develop your potential. In the process, many questions will answer themselves and possible solutions will become visible.
Below you will find the FAQ for this offer. Would you prefer to read a video course or a book first? You can find both on this page!
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THIS WORLD AND IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!
What happens in sexual counselling?
Sexuality is a complex and multi-layered phenomenon. By harmonising the different dimensions of our sexual experience, we gradually achieve a feeling of deeper inner balance and satisfaction. At the same time, we discover new spaces for our own pleasure.
As a lifelong learning process, sexuality is a growing and changeable resource. We can adapt both our sexual experience and our behaviour to new living conditions, interests and partners.
With my work, I support you in redefining yourself as a ‘sexual being’, leaving old beliefs behind, discovering new things and experimenting. In a nutshell: I invite you to explore what is alive in you and give it space. I will ask clarifying questions, formulate hypotheses and guide you through body awareness exercises.
Do you want to delve deeper? Become a pro for your sex life? You can become a sex coach at the SoHam Institute!
BEING HAPPY MEANS LEADING A RICH, FULFILLING AND MEANINGFUL LIFE AND BEING WILLING TO FEEL THE WHOLE SPECTRUM OF HUMAN EMOTIONS
As a couple or alone?
You can come to sexual counselling with your partner or alone. You are also welcome to take advantage of my other services in addition to counselling: Self-awareness groups, mindfulness training, touch coaching as well as webinars, online and video courses.
Becoming a sexual counsellor is another option for experiencing intensive sexual coaching that enables profound change.
We are an LGBTQIA+ friendly practice. We also welcome polyamorous constellations. Counselling is effective, targeted, resource- and solution-oriented. Counselling is available in German, English and Italian.
BELIEVE THOSE WHO SEEK THE TRUTH AND DOUBT THOSE WHO HAVE FOUND IT.
FAQ
What therapeutic approaches are used?
I have been working as a sex therapist and couples counsellor in my Hamburg practice for twenty years and work on the basis of various approaches: SexoCorporel and Systemic Couples Counselling as well as Emotion-Focused Therapy, Crucible by David Schnarch, psychodynamic theories and bodywork.
Here is a brief summary of these approaches
SexoCorporel
SexoCorporel is a body-orientated form of sex therapy with a focus on mindfulness and body awareness. The focus of this approach is on expanding your own physical potential through various learning steps. This approach is based on the so-called embodiment theory. This describes how everything that can be understood as a physical event and everything that takes place in the psyche are closely connected and mutually dependent. The way we inhabit our body, the way we have learnt to deal with our body, therefore influences our emotions and thoughts and can in turn be changed by them.
Systemic couples therapy
In this method, the focus is on the interaction between the partners, on the couple system. The sexual problem is interpreted as non-verbal communication between the partners and understood and translated in this sense.
EFT Therapy – Susan Johnson
Emotion-Focussed Therapy (EFT) takes into account both the interaction between the partners and the inner emotional experience of the individual. Often the couple polarises in frozen roles that make any (sexual) communication impossible. Breaking this so-called vicious circle makes closeness and pleasure possible again.
Crucible – David Schnarch
In this approach, the therapy focuses on the process of differentiating the partners from an emotional fusion that suppresses lust and desire in the long term.
Bodywork
The focus of this method is on the breath ( = SoHam in Sanskrit). Through the breath, it is possible to access our core, our emotions and our needs. Body therapies include relaxation techniques, dynamic movement and breathing meditations, yoga and dance therapy as well as mindfulness massage and touch coaching.
Psychodynamic approach
Unresolved, mostly unconscious conflicts from childhood – so-called developmental traumas – can have a massive impact on our experience and behaviour in adulthood. Dealing with inner conflicts allows us to cope with them in a more positive way.
Which topics are covered?
As a clinical sexologist, I am trained to deal with all issues relating to sexuality. Here are some of the topics that can be addressed in my practice:
LACK OF DESIRE
You have no desire? Sexual desire and longing are a long time coming? Lack of desire is the number one topic in my practice. But different sexual needs, ideas, desires and expectations during sex can also lead to conflicts that weigh heavily on the relationship if left unresolved.
MONOGAMY OR AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP?
The question of whether monogamy or an open relationship could be the solution is also frequently discussed. Are cheating and affairs a problem in your relationship? Or are you toying with the idea of having a polyamorous relationship? Do you need inspiration and concrete suggestions for polyamory, this special relationship model?
NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE! HELP
People who have never had sex before are always coming. Absolute beginners are welcome. With conversations, flirt training and strengthening your sexual self-confidence, you will master this challenge!
WANTING A CHILD – OR NOT?
The topic of children is always an issue when it comes to sex. It’s always worth talking about. Is family planning, the desire to have children or perhaps involuntary childlessness a question for you? Counselling could provide clarification.
ORGASM – YES, NO, MAYBE
Many women are in search of a climax. You want this experience, but don’t know how… The ability to orgasm – or rather, the ability to enjoy it – can be learnt!
POTENTIAL DISTURBANCE
It’s not a question of whether a man will experience episodes of erectile dysfunction, but when they will happen. There are many reasons for this. In this case, too, something can be done.
PREMATURE EJACULATION
The same applies if you come too quickly. Premature ejaculation is not an inevitable fate. With the right suggestions, you can learn to control your arousal.
WHEN SEX HURTS
Pain during sex doesn’t have to be painful! This taboo subject affects many women. Don’t hesitate any longer. Dyspareunia can be treated. The same applies if you can’t have sexual intercourse because your vagina is cramping. Vaginismus (also known as vaginal cramp) is curable.
INSECURITY
Perhaps you are burdened by your sexual insecurity and shyness, you are afraid of contact or have experienced sexual traumatisation. We can discuss all these aspects in peace and quiet in a safe space and activate resources and learn new skills to overcome them.
PORN AND SEX ADDICTION
Nowadays, problematic addiction to sexual (internet) services is becoming increasingly common. It can develop into a so-called porn or sex addiction, which develops many symptoms. Sexual counselling can also help with this.
SEXUAL ORIENTATION
Do you have questions about sexual orientation and gender identity, sexual behaviour and experiences that you can’t find answers to otherwise?
LGBTQIA+
Finally: All people, regardless of their orientation and identity, are welcome in my practice. I am happy to advise intercultural (I speak German, Italian and English, understand Spanish and a little French), ETERO and LGBTQIA+ couples on all partnership issues.
ASEXUALITY
Are you asexual and do you have any questions? You can also talk to me about asexuality.
KINKI & BDsM
I will also be happy to discuss questions and/or problems relating to special inclinations and practices (Kinki – Fetish – BDsM) with you.
What does bodywork mean? Do I have to take off my clothes for this? What happens when that happens?
Bodywork includes both self-awareness exercises guided by me and so-called mindfulness massages. Exercises to become aware of the breath or muscle tension make it possible to discover new physical spaces, explore the body’s potential and expand it. New learning steps can be taken.
Light and mindful touch invites you to actively discover, explore and expand the vitality within yourself. The breath gains more space and flows more freely, tensions are melted away. A bridge is built between above (thinking) and below (feeling and sensing), a feeling of oneness is experienced. Satisfaction and fulfilment in sexuality are achieved through improved perception of the body.
The body journeys for body awareness in my practice are carried out clothed.
COMMON TOPICS
When the body says no …
Pain during sex is largely taboo. Feelings of shame among us women are very common. Unwanted pain, which all too often becomes chronic, prevents pleasure from arising.
Sex therapy can help you find a way out of this negative spiral and experience the joy of sex again.
‘HE’ doesn’t stand …
He stands, therefore I am. For many men, this is a kind of identity card for their masculinity. But it’s not a question of if a man will have erection problems, but when it will happen! HE’S NOT STANDING AS YOU WANT? HE comes too early? Sexual coaching can help you overcome this challenge.
No desire for…
Lack of desire is the number one issue in my practice. Together we will explore the reasons for your current situation. Through suggestions and impulses you will find your individual path to more pleasure and fulfillment in your sex life. Sexual counseling can help you understand the reasons for your situation and find solutions.
Offers
Sex Therapy
Training to become a sex counselor
Self-Experience
Video courses
Online courses/webinars
Contact
SoHam Sexologie
Sexual Therapy
Formation in sexual councelling
Selfexperience
